new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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