new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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