my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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