how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
