the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How external is "for external use only"?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
