she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
