I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
