I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
