people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
