Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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