Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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