Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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