the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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