you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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