i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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