I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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