This girl is more easily done than said...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize