Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
