dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
