apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
then he tried to convert me to islam
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
