Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
