Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
