he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
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Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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