her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
