we have pet lesbian snakes
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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