Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
