and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
