Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
