i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
