Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.