jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
