note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.