I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3