You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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