yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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