I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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