dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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