Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize