D3 body, D1 cock
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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