I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
