Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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