i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
