here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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