Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
