I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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