I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
that's an acceptable place to lick
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
