false alarm. still invincible.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
