i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
