Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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