Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
