You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize