theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
