It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So much Jack, so little girl.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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