the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
bring money and cleavage
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
