I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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