Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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