You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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