his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
