Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
