Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
