Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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