Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
